What does it mean when we say those magic three words... I love you? We all cannot wait to hear them come from someone we are madly in love with. I have asked myself this question over and over again, but still is there a right and wrong answer? Then, there comes marriage, and then the baby carriage(we all know the song). But how do we miss the marks in between.
The past three weeks I have had lots of time to talk with my parents about love and marriage and to be honest; I am more confused than ever. My momma and daddy married 43 years ago, momma only 16 and daddy 20. That is fairly young, but for that day in time it was "ok" or you could say acceptable. Being a wife as a teenager is going to have its challenges; but what about love and the vows. As a young man trying to provide for his family with little or nothing you are going to have many obstacles; but what about love and the vows.
When all that baggage builds up one has had all they could possibly take, and what happens after a forced separation? Again, love and the marriage vow when does that come in the picture?
So far, I have learned that its important to keep your vow no matter what and stay in the marriage. And, then to love the person you are with because in reality you truly do love them.
Also, the things we say and think are different, and how they come out of your mind and mouth are different as well. Well is it different in our hearts and the way we feel? What??????? I am totally confused! (that's me screaming it)
I have not been able to talk about this huge ordeal because it makes me literally want to throw up(we all know I don't like throw up), but this past month has been extremely hard for me to cope with. As of today my parents have been separated for 3 weeks by order of a judge; and to me it feels like a lifetime. Daddy has signed a lease for an apartment and momma is all alone at home. They are both miserable because after 43 years together, what is life like without the other. I just burst into tears every time I mention this, but I have to get it out. Momma and Daddy both have serious health conditions and this situation has taken its toll on both. I am now worried that I will loose them forever, and I am NOT ready for that. As I told both of them today "I am still the baby and I NEED both momma and daddy!" (daddy says "you will always be my baby" and "momma says everyone has to grow up, but yes you are the baby").
On Thursday the 9Th everything will change for the BEST or the WORST and I beg of you to pray for the best for all of us. My girls are asking questions and know something different is happening. I do not want to tell them, but I don't want to "lie" to them either. Please pray that I can be strong for my family and parents.